Boundaries

This photo was taken while I was praying during sundown at a mountain we have here near home, September 20th 2023 :)

The goal of this article is for you to identify if someone in your life is either a connection or not and how you can get yourself protected. The bible says that we need to protect our hearts: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” Proverbs 4:23.

King Solomon was talking about boundaries. Because .. how are you going to have a wellspring … with no rocks to contain it (boundaries)?

It’s important for us to love everyone, but at the same time, protect our hearts so we don’t get hurt just because. Some other people may try taking advantage of you just because you’re too good. (Not everybody! But here and there, could show up a few). So, use your discernment. Search your feelings.

Boundaries in Friendship

How do you know someone is a connection? Check this out …

If someone responds to your text message quickly … you respond quickly. This person is a strong connection. That’s it, you’ve identified a strong connection.

If you text someone, and they respond to you always, they are a good connection.

The priority on texts will go to this friend. Why? because there’s a special attention implied. It means they’re treasuring your friendship and they really wanna keep you near because they know your time is precious.

When someone says: “I’m too busy, I couldn’t respond at all” unfortunately this means: “Only my time is precious, yours is not.”

That’s why I never ever say that. If I couldn’t respond someone immediatly, I give a special attention next day or when we see each other in public somewhere, I will seat down with them only and talk to them directly only for that special occasion to compensate. Or else, I ask them to hang out for a coffee or something like that. Even though I’m as busy as heck with 3 children, wife, the whole family on my back, plus businesses, ministry here in the States and also in Brazil, I avoid using this phrase: “I am too busy… I was too busy, I couldn’t respond!”. This might hurt someone big time.

If you send a text to someone, and this person never responds, this means this person is not a connection. They don’t treasure you. They depreciate your invested time. They don’t value you. “Oh I’m busy and yata yata yata” you may hear. The reality is that in your subcoscient, the message was already given.

Listen up … you’ll always find time for something you consider to be important.

The same thing for e-mails. If you send an email to someone, and this person never responds, forget it. This person doesn’t treasure you, move on. I’m very cruel nowadays on the way people handle my time, as much as I love them. If I take my precious time to send a text or email to someone, and they never respond, this talks a lot about them. They don’t care for me, period. I probably mean nothing for this person. 100% sure I represent the poop of the smallest worm of the universe for whoever did it to me. You can invite me for whatever, I’m not going. Is this vengeance ? .. oh come on brother … really? grow up ……of course… yes =/

God’s still working in this area of ma life :(

When I’m weak, He is strong.

And I’m hella weak :(

Are you like that too?

That’s what I am doing nowadays, as much as I love the person. I send them a text, they respond me in 30 days. I’m going to respond your text in 30 days. As a matter of fact, I add “respond to mister shreko here on October 22” on my google calendar, in case the person responded me September 22.

I shoot you an e-mail, you respond me in 45 days, I’ll respond to you in 45 days. Why? because I’m not important to you anyways. I’m ultra reciprocal.

I would like you to adopt this. This creates something that I call: “boundaries”. This helps you avoid getting hurt just because. High steem yourself! You’re not just anybody! God doesn’t make TRASH!

10 Ways to Establish Boundaries in a Friendship:

Creating boundaries in friendships is essential for maintaining healthy and respectful relationships. Here are ten examples of how people can establish boundaries in their friendships:

1.Communication Preferences: Let your friend know your preferred mode of communication and response time, so they don't expect immediate replies if you're busy.

2. Personal Space: Communicate your need for personal space and alone time, so your friend understands when you require some time to yourself.

3. Confidentiality: Establish trust by setting boundaries around what can and cannot be shared with others, ensuring sensitive information remains private.

4. Respecting Opinions: Agree to disagree on certain topics and avoid pushing each other to change your opinions or beliefs. This always should be made as clear as the day.

5. Time Management: Make plans and schedules that work for both parties, so neither feels overwhelmed or neglected due to time commitments.

6. Financial Boundaries: Be clear about financial expectations, such as splitting bills or borrowing money, and respect each other's financial limitations.

7. Personal Values: Discuss any boundaries related to your values and morals, so you can avoid engaging in activities that conflict with your beliefs.

8. Socializing with Others: Communicate your comfort levels regarding socializing with each other's friends and acquaintances, ensuring that you both feel respected in group settings.

9. Emotional Support: Set boundaries on the type and amount of emotional support you can provide, making sure you don't become emotionally drained.

10. Conflict Resolution: Agree on a constructive way to address conflicts or disagreements without resorting to hurtful words or actions.

Well .. I hope this will help someone reading this article .. it’s 10:46 PM PST now … and I’m freaking sleepy. This is also a blog, so it’s pretty informal. That’s why probably people like to read my stuff .. i dunno. Thanks for reading this article. Like I said at the beginning, now you know how to identify if someone in your life is either a connection or not and how you can get yourself protected. Burn bridges with the wrong connections. Establish connections to those that value you.